The ABCs of how we make meaning
Everyone finds purpose in some combination of agency, belonging and cause
While writing his book, Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age, author Bruce Feiler discovered that there are three primary sources of meaning in people’s lives—agency, belonging, and cause.
Agency - people who derive the most meaning and purpose from agency are driven by personal achievement. Their careers or passions will be a main focus and they will see their lives play out sequentially as some sort of line moving toward the future.
Belonging - people who prioritize belonging get more meaning out of relationships and care more about family and friends than personal success. The shape of their lives is more circular, and they are focused on the people that matter to them rather than making progress on goals.
Cause - this group wants to make the world a better place and is driven by a desire to help others on a larger scale. They get meaning and purpose from fighting for causes like social justice, women’s rights, or helping disadvantaged youth.
Everyone has a mix of these three but in different amounts. One is always dominant. None is morally better than the other. A high-flying executive with small children might be an ABC, a stay-at-home parent who is active in their community a BCA, and a foreign aid worker with no family might be a CAB.
When someone goes through a major life transition, their paradigm can shift. For example, an executive who quits work to care for a newborn child or an aging parent (ABC → BAC). A stay-at-home parent who starts a new career when the children go to school or fly the nest (BCA → ABC). An aid worker who goes through a burnout and decides to open their own small non-profit (CAB → ACB).
That inner shift is a transformation that can require some serious inner work as a new identity is created. Working with a life or transitions coach can help a client make sense of the psychological dynamics at play and come out the other side with positive and purposeful energy—and without guilt or regret over what they have left behind.
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