Feel the fear and do it anyway
How fears of being not-good-enough can hold us back and keep our dreams small.
We all experience fear on a daily basis, according to Dr Pippa Grange, author of Fear Less: How to Win Your Way in Work and Life.
Sometimes it shows up as in-the-moment fear that makes our hearts pound and palms sweat—for example when we have to give a big presentation or have a near miss in the car. We can either process this fear through breathwork, for example, distract ourselves with other thoughts, or try to rationalize the fear away. Different tactics work for different people, Grange says, and all are valid.
The other type of fear is a not-good-enough fear that stems from a primal fear of rejection or abandonment. Our ancestors could not survive if they were cast out of the tribe.
This type of fear shows up as jealousy, perfectionism, self-criticism, and keeping ourselves separate. We fear saying the wrong thing, being judged by others, or being seen as a failure. We might not recognize it as fear because it doesn’t make our hearts race the way in-the-moment fear can.
This fear can steal the joy from achievement when we fear losing what we have won, or that no matter how much success we achieve, it still is not enough. It leads to a scarcity mindset where if someone else wins, then I lose.
This fear can also stop us from doing things we want and lead us to make choices that are out of sync with our true nature and desires—when we choose the ‘safe’ option or do what we think we should do instead of what we want to do. This is very real for me and perhaps it is for you too because you are human. It is good to normalize this.
It is also good to recognize that we will experience some fear no matter what we do. We need to get comfortable with fear and not let it stop us from doing, saying, or pursuing the things we want.
When it comes to starting a business, I can be afraid to try and keep myself small. Some days I am very tempted. Or I can try, and be afraid, and keep going anyway. I know which scenario has more potential for fulfillment and joy, even if there are bumps and setbacks along the way. Choosing not to act out of fear does not spare us from fear. It just holds us back.
How might fear be getting in the way of something you really want?
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